"And now He stands in victory. Sin's curse has lost its grip on me."
Why is it that I get so stressed out with the thought of being on call, working long hours, and being so very tired. It's more than just stress. It's a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and a feeling of dread. I have been placed in a job where I will be doing all those things again. It has been wonderful being out of that situation for about six months. It has been wonderful! Now I'm right smack dab in that scenario again after I have fought it for so long. It's so obvious to me that I am here because I'm supposed to be. Why does God return me to situations time and time again that make uncomfortable? Maybe He wants me to work through it, be healed and move on to bigger and better things. When I look back over my life I see where He has healed me bit by bit of many of my hangups. Believe me, I have plenty left - most of which I don't even realize exist. He's placing his finger on this one at this season in my life. He is healing me and freeing me all the time. I need to let Him do his work in my heart, grow me up, and set me free.
Lord, I feel the basis of my dread is from a time when I felt totally abandoned in a call situation. I recognize my feelings of abandonment. I know I'm your child, you love me, you were there in my desperation, in my deep aloneness. I acknowledge my utter helplessness and dependence on you. Heal me from my false beliefs that have come out a painful experience. I choose to believe in the truth and reject the lies. You are my Father, you will take care of me. You are the King and I am your daughter. Oh, I know that doesn't mean that I will never have difficult situations. I reject the thoughts that the Evil One places in my mind of worthlessness, vulnerability to the whims of those in authority over me, and helplessness. You have given me authority over foul spirits and demons through the blood that you have shed for me on the cross. I do not allow them to have any place in my thoughts, my body, or my domain. I praise you! I give you the honor and glory due your name. You are worthy of all the honor and praise and glory that exists in the universe.
